Here's the moron! Obvousley not a small dog. 

my stupid dog

So yesterday, I took my dog Norman to the local coffee shop (which is tasty and has free wireless web!) Anyway, whenever we go back to the truck, I always let him off his leash and he, in a single bound, jumps over the side of the truck and lands in the bed. The dogs got hops! Well yesterday we were walking back to the truck and I let him off his leash. He ran towards the truck, which was parked next to a nice older jaguar, took a look at the truck, a look at the jaguar, a look at the truck, and proceeded to jump into the back of the jaguar. The problem with this was the jaguar didn't have a back to jump into, it was a jaguar not a truck. Instead of landing in the bed, which it didn't have, he landed right on the trunk. He paused and looked very confused as I spouted "Christian profanities” Like "oh fiddledeedee” and "you bodaggot". Fearing for his life he proceeded to scramble off the back of the jag and back into my truck, not even stopping to look back at all of the light claw scratches he made. Well luckily it was a person I knew, the wife of the assistant pastor at our church but I am still paying for the detailer to buff out the scratches!